Love shouldn’t hurt – ever

My Response is My Power
“I cannot control everything that happens; I can only control the way I respond to what happens. In my response is my power.” I saw this mantra recently and wanted to share its truth.

Have you ever had a time in your life where you struggled to move on even though you know you must in order to have your best life? It could be a job situation that is not meeting your needs, a friendship that is no longer good for both parties, or most often, a romantic relationship that is causing you harm.

When you experience these situations, you usually try to do everything you know to do to fix them. You pray earnestly about it, you wait and wait hoping things might change, looking for glimmers of hope. You may seek some wise counsel from a trusted person, and then you will think about what that wise person advised you to do for a long time, and you will roll it over and over in your mind, trying to figure out how to make things work without moving on, because we all hate change. You may cry, and maybe even scream in frustration and finally you may realize that you can’t do anything more about it because there’s nothing more to be done. It is what it is.

And as difficult as it is to move on, you must make an intentional choice to move forward, leaving the damaging relationship behind. You cannot sit and replay the good times so much that you stop remembering the bad. It’s easy to get confused and forget that the relationship we actually had was not the one we hoped it could be. Potential isn’t always realized.

At first your new life may be overwhelming and strange, but with a little time and support, you will find your stride and you will find yourself wondering why you waited so long. Your response of acknowledging you cannot fix others, realizing you deserve a healthy relationship, being willing to exit a bad relationship and focusing on what is best for you will empower you. Having good support and a safe place to work through your feelings is a key to being strong enough to pursue the life of your dreams. We are here to help.

If you have experienced sexual assault or intimate partner violence, Crisis Services of North Alabama is here to offer you support. You can reach our HELPline 24/7 at 256.716.1000 or call our Jackson County office for an appointment at 256.574.5826. You are not alone.

-Teresia Smith

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