Love shouldn’t hurt

Love Shouldn't Hurt - Ever

Wednesday, 07 May 2025 07:56

Relationship Green Flags
by Rebecca Hieronymi

As a domestic violence victim advocate, I often have conversations with clients and concerned friends or family about “red flags” or early signs that a relationship is unhealthy, or that a partner might turn abusive. It’s not always easy to spot red flags and knowing what behaviors to be wary of is important in helping us avoid harmful situations or potentially abusive partner. Green flags, on the other hand, tend to get a lot less attention. A green flag is a behavior or personality trait that signals you are safe to move a relationship forward and that the relationship is healthy and mature. When we can recognize what a healthy relationship looks like, we can move toward people who display those healthy qualities from the get-go and find ourselves in the kind of relationships that actually feed good. Here are 10 green flags to look for in a partner:

1. Healthy relationships support personal growth.
Partners don’t need to be inseparable; instead, they should value independence and individuality. It’s a green flag when someone encourages your goals, hobbies, and friendships, and maintains their own as well. This mutual independence helps avoid codependency and ensures neither person relies solely on the relationship for happiness.

2. Consistency and reliability are key signs of a healthy partner.
When someone follows through on plans and commitments, it shows respect—for you and for themselves. A reliable partner shows up when it matters and makes you feel secure, not uncertain. While moods can shift, consistent behavior builds trust and peace of mind.

3. Long-standing friendships are a good sign.
How someone treats others—especially over time—often reflects how they’ll treat you. No one’s perfect, but a partner who consistently tries to do right by people shows strong character.

4. Empathy is essential in a healthy relationship.
A caring partner understands or shares your emotions, offers compassion during tough times, and validates your feelings. They’re mindful of how their actions affect you, aiming to prevent harm and create joy.

5. Vulnerability builds strong relationships.
It means being open, honest, and in touch with your emotions—understanding where they come from and sharing them with your partner. This emotional openness creates a deep connection and a strong foundation for the future.

6. Shared values and morals matter.
Having deeper