Love shouldn’t hurt

Love Shouldn't Hurt - Ever

Friday, 31 January 2025 09:18

Two Lives?
by Teresia Smith

How many lives do we really have? “They say everyone has two lives … and the second one starts when you realize you only have one” (Confucius).
We never really think of life in this way. We all are born once and die once. However, I can see how the quote rings true. Technically, we all only have one life. But there sometimes comes a defining moment, often a crisis, where we realize the fleeting nature of life and we decide to stop just existing and really start living.

In that “first” life, you may just go through the days, accepting less than you should and allowing people and circumstances to dictate your life. When you hit that turning point and begin the “second” life, you feel a renewed sense of purpose and realize the preciousness of life and decide there is no time to waste and you must make the most of every moment. We decide to take the chances, refuse mistreatment, not take life for granted and make conscious choices to pursue what really matters and live life to the fullest.

This is the difference between surviving and thriving.
For some who are living with intimate partner violence, this may the point where they find their courage to seek help and leave. In that “first” life, they accepted the abusive behaviors of their partner and even internalized a misguided belief that they deserved to be treated badly.

Often, this goes on for years and the scars are deep. It’s not easy to overcome the wounds and it can be a steep valley to climb out of. Abuse tends to progress and sometimes there is an incident that serves as a wakeup call or turning point for the victim. This is where the “second” life can begin.
If you are facing that defining moment and are ready for your “second” life away from abuse, we can extend support. Crisis Services of North Alabama offers free and confidential services to victims of sexual assault and intimate partner violence. Some of our services are access to safe shelter, court advocacy, support groups, crisis counseling, and referrals as needed. You can reach our Jackson County office at 256.574.5826 for an appointment with an advocate. You don’t have to walk through this alone. Reach out.