Love shouldn’t hurt – ever: – 04/29/20

Child Sexual Abuse
by Teresia Smith

In addition to April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month, it is also recognized as Child Abuse Prevention Month. The statistics on the sexual abuse of children are shocking. Some estimates place the prevalence as high as 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys that are sexually abused before their 18th birthday (Aust. Institute of Criminology, 1993). And these are only the reported cases. It is highly likely that you know someone who has been abused. It may have been you.

We teach our children “stranger danger,” but statistics tell us 95% of sexually abused children will know their abuser (Child Protection Council, 1993). The abuser will often be an immediate family member, a close family friend or someone the child has regular contact with.

So how can we protect our children? The most important thing we can do is raise awareness about what comprises child sexual assault and talk to our kids to make sure they feel comfortable telling someone they trust. Just as with adults, child sexual assault covers many things. According to Rainn.org, “Child sexual abuse does not need to include physical contact between a perpetrator and a child. Some forms of child sexual abuse include: Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself to a minor, fondling, intercourse, masturbation in the presence of a minor or forcing the minor to masturbate, obscene phone calls, text messages, or digital interaction, producing, owning, or sharing pornographic images or movies of children, sex of any kind with a minor, including vaginal, oral, or anal, sex trafficking, and any other sexual conduct that is harmful to a child’s mental, emotional, or physical welfare.”

Child sexual abuse isn’t usually something easy to see. Clues that a child is being sexually abused are often present, but they are often hard to identify apart from other signs of childhood pressures. “Explicit physical signs of sexual abuse are not common. However, when physical signs are present, they may include bruising, bleeding, redness and bumps, or scabs around the mouth, genitals or anus. Urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted diseases and abnormal vaginal or penile discharge are also warning signs. Sometimes a child who is being abused will suddenly display signs of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, express suicidal thoughts, inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviors, nightmares or bed-wetting” (https://www.d2l.org/education/5-steps/step-1/).

It’s also not easy to recognize a perpetrator. If only they were easy to identify. People who abuse children usually look like everyone else. The majority of perpetrators are someone the child or family knows and trusts. A perpetrator does not have to be an adult to harm a child. They can have any relationship to the child including an older sibling or friend, family member, a teacher, a coach, a babysitter, or the parent of another child. Sometimes, an abuser will choose a single mom and work to gain her trust to be left alone with her children, offering to babysit or take the kids on outings. Sometimes the grooming starts right in front of the mom with rough-and-tumble play or tickle games that make it appear the person is bonding with the child but in fact, these games allow an abuser to sneak in bad touches. It is imperative that we remain vigilant and not allow our children to be in dangerous situations.

Childhood sexual assault impacts everyone and the impact of the abuse continues to affect survivors well into adulthood. It is a root cause of many health and social problems we face in our communities. “Seventy to eighty percent of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol use. One study showed that among male survivors, 50% have suicidal thoughts and more

Sexual Assault Awareness Month: – 04/22/20

by Teresia Smith

The nation recognizes April as Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). SAAM aims to raise public awareness about sexual violence, communicate to members of the community what services are available to survivors and calls attention to the fact that sexual violence is widespread. This proclamation is an invitation to join advocates and communities across the country in taking action to prevent sexual violence. This is the 19th year of SAAM, and this year’s national theme is “I Ask.”

The ultimate goal is about more than awareness; it is about prevention. Since consent is a clear, specific example of what it takes to end sexual harassment, abuse and assault, this year’s campaign shares the message that asking for consent is a normal and essential part of sex.

The movement to end sexual violence relies on people to make a choice to get involved. This means no turning a blind eye or pretending sexual violence isn’t happening. Sexual violence seems inevitable, but the choice people have made to become educated, aware and involved in making changes in national conversations about sexual violence has helped to expand support for survivors. There are many ways to be involved in changing conversations about sexual violence, supporting survivors and preventing sexual violence before it happens. We must educate communities on how to show their support for survivors, as well as take a stand against victim blaming and hurtful misconceptions.

We know that one month cannot solve the serious and prevalent issue of sexual violence; however, SAAM generates an opportunity to strengthen prevention efforts throughout the year.

“The good news is that prevention is possible, and it’s happening. Individuals, communities and the private sector are already successfully combating the risk of sexual violence through conversations, programs, policies and research-based tools that promote safety, respect and equality. By promoting safe behaviors, thoughtful policies and healthy relationships, we can create safe and equitable communities where every person is treated with respect.” (National Sexual Violence Resource Center.)

There were many awareness events planned in our area before the need for social isolation; however, now we are using creative ways to get the message out during this month. If you know of someone who could benefit from our services, please share our information. Social media has become a great resource that many are embracing during this time. Here are some ways you can get information or participate:

• Please leave an encouraging note on Facebook to survivors of sexual assault with the #SAAM and #JacksonCountyCoalitionAgainstDomesticViolence.

• Crisis Services has Text Chat available if you are feeling stressed and need to talk to someone but don’t want to call. You can text anonymously with a crisis counselor by texting 256.722.8219 between the hours of 4pm – 11:30pm. Also, there is always someone to talk to at the HELPline, which can be reached at 256.716.1000.

• Join our Facebook group: Jackson County Support for Survivors of Sexual Assault where you will find informative and educational posts, as well as ways to communicate with advocates. This group is open to survivors as well as supporters.

• Even though our advocates are not in our office daily, our free, confidential services are still offered, just in a different format. Options such as voice calls, video calls and video support groups are available for you. Forensic nurses are still available to offer their services which include collection of rape kits and providing medical care after a sexual assault.

How can you help someone who has experienced sexual assault? To support victims, you don’t need to be an expert. You just need to believe them. Don’t ask what they were wearing or place any of the blame for a sexual assault on the victim.

The crime of sexual violence is based on power and control of another person and a victim does not cause someone to rape them by what they wear or where they go. Listen and let them talk and validate their feelings. Don’t try to “take charge” and tell them what they need to do. Let them take the lead and support their decisions. Get help for yourself. Helping someone cope with a sexual assault can be a difficult experience. In addition to offering services to a survivor, we also offer support services to secondary victims, which are those who are supporting an assault survivor such as parents, teachers, family members or friends.

This month is an extraordinary opportunity to increase awareness and change behaviors. The time to unite communities to combat sexual violence is now. Please join us as we strive to support survivors. There is a national network of community-based rape crisis centers, with centers available in every state and territory. These centers exist across the United States to provide supportive services to victims of sexual assault. In this area, Crisis Services of North Alabama maintains an office in Jackson County to provide services for residents who are in crisis due to domestic violence or sexual assault.

For more information or assistance, please call Crisis Services Jackson County Office at 256-574-5826 or our 24 hour HELPline at 256-716-1000.

Fishing tip of the week: – 04/22/20

Habits of bedding fish
by Captain Mike Gerry

As we approach the bedding time of the largemouth bass, I thought I would spend some time talking about the habits of bedding fish as I see them on today’s crowded lakes. Make no mistake about it, the habits of bass on today’s busy lakes is quite different than it was ten years ago – maybe even fewer years than that. Today’s bass are much more pressured than ever before, and finding what was once easy bedding locations is now difficult.

The basics of bedding bass have changed considerably. We used to be able to bet on the fact that the bass would bed in many of the same locations year after year. Today, that is not necessarily true. What was once a good bedding location has changed considerably for many reasons. Not only the fishing pressure but the enormous amount of rain we seem to get in the spring changes where the bass bed, because it causes much more current than we used to get in the pre-spawn era.

The current changes the bottom. It pulls out the structure and moves what was once the ideal bottom area for fish to spawn on. It moves around the silted-in areas, pulls bank rip rap off the edges and changes to where the bass move for their annual spawning ritual.

It is also obvious to me that the depth in which bass spawn can change drastically on a lake. To me, this is a direct result of fishing pressure. If you are used to fishing an area that is constantly being pressured by fishermen, I find that the bass move to depths that are away from the heavily fished areas for the spawn.

his may only be a depth of four to five feet in depth, but it moves them off the banks where the fishing pressure is consistent. It’s always been a well-known fact that bass like to spawn on hard bottom areas. Many times that hard bottom can change, as one year it might be around stumps, but the next year it might change to shell beds, lily pad stems or clay banks. I’ve seen them change to under boat houses one year, and the next year they can’t be found around them. Point being, change with the bass and examine different areas for spawning bass.

Thoughts from The Bible: – 04/22/20

God’s Rainbow Of Love
by Terry Broome

The story is told of a man out west who had a fine spring that furnished him with sparkling cold water for all his daily needs. One morning, however, an earthquake shook the earth and ruined the spring. The man was stunned and saddened by his apparent loss, but the next day a big gushing oil well appeared to take its place. The loss of something that he treasured actually opened the door for something better. In all likelihood this is more parable than fact, but it illustrates a very important truth for our lives. Many times God allows some apparent loss to come to us so that He might give us something better in its place.

It’s been said that for every cloud there is a rainbow, but we have to be in the proper position to see it. For instance, Noah and his family saw the rainbow of hope and promise set by God in the sky (Genesis 9:11-17); however, only after they had endured the flood and in complete submission to God’s Will could they experience this rainbow of hope. They had to get into the proper position by turning their backs to their home and the old world of sin that surrounded them in order to see God’s rainbow and learn of His promise to not destroy the earth again by flood waters. There had to be a cloud before they could see the rainbow of God’s love and promises.

Similarly, when the shadows of life fall on us, if we get in the proper position, facing Him in Christ, we can see God’s love shining through. Even as God’s Rainbow was set in the sky as a promise that He would never destroy the world again by flood, we have the hope of His promise that God will never leave us or forsake us as long as we stay in the right relationship with Him (Hebrews 13:5-6). We can see in the rainbow a kind of metaphor of God’s care for all those who are His.

Literal clouds come into every life. Hardly a day passes in which we cannot see a cloud and are reminded of God’s promise to Noah. Also, hardly a day passes but that there is a “cloud” of some kind in our lives. God knows that all sun and no clouds only creates a desert. If we never saw the “clouds” of life with all it’s heartaches, we would never see the rainbow.

He builds our lives by adversity as well as by prosperity. More character is built in the face of sorrow than in success. Romans 5:3-4 (NKJV) 3 “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Heb 12:5-11 “My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord…”

When we see all things in their true light, we see that life is made more beautiful and more useful because of the few hardships that God allows to come our way (1 Pet. 1:3-7). The same God who allows the clouds to come also sends the rainbow of hope and promises – deliverance through the trials we face, and ultimate salvation to those who are obedient to His Word and who walk in the light!!

The clouds do often cover our pathway, but just look up into the Father’s face, and you’ll soon know that He has a rainbow of hope and promises for you: Romans 8:1-2 (KJV) 1“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.”

The author can be reached for comments at 256-574-2489

Fishing tip of the week: – 04/15/20

Big Fish Time
by Captain Mike Gerry

I realize that most anglers prefer the warmer winter day; I certainly understand the more comfortable feeling of a better day when the temperature has warmed in the middle of winter. The problem is, if you’re after a trophy size bass, they are now in the feeding mode. We constantly change weather in the spring, and it always presents the chance of that trophy fish.

Sure, some days are a challenge in North Alabama, as the temperature changes, and weather pattern swings are constant for at least another month. The downside is, it’s hard to stay focused and continually work the proper depths and structure to find that trophy fish. The elements fight against you, your hands are cold, it’s hard to feel a bite, the wind challenges you many days in a row during this constant change. Steadying the boat enough to feel those slow methodical bites during this late pre-spawn is not easy.

Don’t waste time. Fish where the big fish should be in this type of weather. In my opinion, this is extended off the long deeper points. I find that in a bad, cold, winter day, the bigger fish extend themselves off under water points from the first break extending down to ten feet or more of water. The reason for this is there is generally still grass near the shallow top and stumps with muscle beds off the deeper points. These are all ideal locations for that big trophy bass, and with some patience and hard fishing, you just might find it.

It is also true that many of the big fish are in the shallows already, moving up to the hard bottom areas of the lake. Look for red clay banks and work them thoroughly.

Lastly, fish small baits. Work them slowly and make very precise casts. Use your Lowrance structure scan to find the structure where the big fish have the best chance to hide. Work those pieces of structure very thoroughly. Make several casts so you cover every angle. You won’t feel big bites, you’ll just feel a twitch or heavy rod tip, make a good hook set because it could be the fish you have been waiting for!

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