Healthy relationships

So often I write about the negative side of relationships, that I wanted to focus today on Healthy Relationships!
Everyone deserves to be in a healthy, loving relationship and with the right person by your side, a healthy relationship is very possible. These are 5 essentials for having a healthy relationship.
Good communication is one of the most important ways to having a healthy relationship. It’s important to be able to talk about what you both want and expect. Sometimes this means being honest and having uncomfortable conversations. If you’re in a healthy relationship you will both be receptive and listen to each other.  Sometimes that means compromising.
Be comfortable with how often you talk to/with  each another. If your partner needs you to always answer right away and text them all day and you don’t want that, that’s not healthy. If your partner is always ignoring your texts and it doesn’t make you feel good, that’s not healthy either. Finding a communication balance that you’re both comfortable with is very important.
Listening to your partner (actually listening, not just waiting to speak) and trying to understand their perspective is an important way to show respect in your relationship. Even if you disagree on politics, religion, music, TV or something else, respect your partner’s choices and opinions. Don’t try to persuade them to change their mind about things that are important to them.
In a healthy relationship, both partners will have mutual respect for one another. You may not always see eye to eye, but that doesn’t mean that one person needs to change their mind in order for your relationship to work. Be considerate of your partner’s privacy and boundaries. Neither of you are  entitled to know everything that each of  you do and everyone you interact with. Beaware of your partner’s feelings and don’t do things that might hurt them.
We all have personal boundaries that make us feel good, comfortable, and safe. In a healthy relationship, you should feel 100% comfortable communicating those boundaries and know that each of you will be respected.
If you only want to hang out a few times a week – that’s fine; if you want to wait before getting intimate – totally okay; if you want to keep your Monday Fun-night with other friends – do it!
If your partner or friend is using boundaries to control you, like telling you not to hang out with friends/family or requiring you to share passwords, those are warning signs of an unhealthy relationship and it’s time to rethink it!
This is the big one. All healthy relationships require mutual and complete trust between partners. Despite what either partner has experienced in the past, (like a cheating ex, abuse, or a parent’s divorce), in a healthy relationship you will  trust each other completely. Remember-- it takes time to build trust in a relationship and when your partner fully trusts you with their feelings, respect them and do not betray their trust.
Cheating on your partner or doing things to make them jealous isn’t right. (You wouldn’t like it either)!
If you don’t trust your partner then you shouldn’t be with them. Don’t ever let your partner use their lack of trust or past experiences as an excuse to control you, question you, or otherwise make you feel as though you need to go out of your way to earn their trust. Consistent affection, support, respect and communication will strengthen mutual trust .
It’s awesome to have a supportive partner who has your back. In a healthy relationship you and your partner will support each other and treat each other as equals. Your partner won’t try to manipulate you, control you, or put you down. They will be protective of you, but not overly possessive. They will encourage you to spend time with friends and family, work toward your personal goals and have a life outside of your relationship. Supportive partners will always want what’s best for you, and they won’t hold you back from achieving your dreams. In a healthy relationship, you’ll feel like yourself and not like you have to make sacrifices so that the relationship can thrive.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should seek help — don’t wait for your partner to change. Rarely do people change without outside professional help!


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