As I talked to an old friend lately we discussed how much the Bible meant to us; not just the Bible itself but our understanding of the written word.

Forgiveness is one of the most misunderstood of those words. So many are under the impression that forgiving someone is doing them a favor when, indeed, you are doing yourself a favor, an important one. Sometimes we drag a burden around for years because we don’t want to forgive the person who has done us wrong. Such a terrible waste of time that could have better spent in a more productive way. I’m one of the guilty ones. Things done or said to me have grieved me for years, ate at me like a fatal acid. It was never out of my thoughts and the person causing it was always in my thoughts thinking how they had wrecked my life. It took me going to counseling at $150 a trip until the counselor finally made me see the person I had been hating was going on with their life without a thought of what was happening to me. She made me understand you don’t forgive for the other person. You forgive for your own peace of mind.
It took me a very long time to work the hatred out of my mind and remind myself I had to get rid of it or go crazy. I decided to get rid of it. I found Jesus. He took my hatred away forever. It is wrong to hate and I try to just consider the source, as my mother taught me, instead of ruining my peace with hatred.
When someone does something really hurtful to me, something that is hard for me to believe, it takes me awhile before I can act normal to that person but I don’t hate them. I hurt deeply. I feel everything deeply but I cannot find it in myself to hate. I have my say then I try to forget about it and stay away from that person that thought so little of me to knowingly be mean or ugly to me. You have to wonder why they wanted to do that to you. You think about it a long time and cannot remember being ugly to that person and they haven’t said you did anything to them so you have to try to forget it. If I have been wrong I apologize.
Sometimes I have to have my say before I can forget it and sometimes it comes out ugly but I never raise my voice and I never lie about it, just facts, then I’m through and we can be friends again if they desire but neither of us usually do.
I honestly like to keep the commandment, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It took a while to realize everyone does not believe nor follow this. Now, instead of getting mad at them, I understand their mother never taught them this and I just feel sorry for them.
Before you act ugly to someone put yourself in their place. Adults can be bullies also and maybe they are inadvertently teaching their children to be bullies as well.
When you learn not to hate nor be spiteful to others such a peace washes over you. The thing is to stay completely away from these people no matter how good a friend they are suppose to be.
If they are toxic stay away from them. You can still be friendly but no more best friends. It is too hard to ever trust that person again.
If we claim to be Christians then we should get the hatred and spitefulness and meanness out of our lives if we ever expect to have good friends and peace in our lives. Look at everyone with love. That’s the way God wants us to live.
So if anger, spite, meanness, revenge, jealousy is eating away at you, get rid of it. You are only hurting yourself. God is love.

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